Suicide Squad

Good god of all that is holy. You really turned your back on this one, huh?

Suicide Squad was the movie that was going to save DC from itself. Silly, fun, manic, and full of b-list characters to kill off; this was the answer to Marvel’s Deadpool or Guardians of the Galaxy. Bring a little humor into the snoozefest that was Batman V Superman.

They fucked up. Big time. Within the first twenty minutes you can see it. This movie looks like it was edited by me. With iMovie. Which isn’t a stretch since DC had the company that made the trailer re-edit the entire film after watching director David Ayer’s cut.

Would his cut have been better? I highly doubt it. Because this film is full of terrible choices. Like the Joker. What the hell is this? He’s a crime boss who runs clubs? His only motivation in this movie is to get Harley Quinn back. Meaning he shows up once and affects the plot all of zero ways. The fun of the Joker is his ability to find the irony in life, and test it to extreme measures. Now, he just laughs and shoots guns.

Now that any of the main characters are any better. Let’s review some stupid plot points. The big bad is Cara Delevigne as Enchantress who gets three lines out of costume because I assume her acting sucks. The “boss” who organizes them convinces her superiors that they need metahumans to fight the next superman. Only one of the squad is an actual metahuman. One of them is just really good at boomerangs. BOOMERANGS. Actual line for describing slipknot, “He’s really good at climbing things.” When the whole squad gets a quiet moment in a bar, they all villain-shame one of them for killing his wife and kids accidentally. YOU’RE ALL MURDERERS. THAT’S THE POINT. Also, Harley’s head exploder device is deactivated, yet she acts like it gets reactivated ten seconds later and willingly goes back to jail.

Not even Margot Robbie and Will Smith can save this movie. Everyone’s saying that they are the bright spots. Just because a turd is shiny doesn’t mean I have to eat it. Or even admire it.

There’s a couple decent action scenes, but that’s about it. Don’t waste your money.

1/2 out of 4 stars.

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